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The Key to Improving How You Feel

Erina HaileLeave a comment

Do you know that you have a great deal of control when it comes to managing your energy?

It all comes down to being in tune with the natural impulse with which we’re all wired, the ability to detect when we’re off balance and recalibrate.

So, where are you struggling to feel good, to show up energized in your life right now?

It’s amazing how much of a charged life we can lead when we become intentional about the energy we bring into any given situation.

Just take a moment to think about the energy you want to bring in your life for the next 90 days.

When doing so, consider three primary facets of energy —  mental, emotional, and physical — keeping in mind that to sustain a high performing life, our mental alertness and positive emotions (mind) and physical (body) must equally be nurtured.

The energy we generate and how we manage it, hands down, is one of the most important principles for living with joy, confidence, and fulfillment.

It’s the foundation upon which everything else is built. As such, it’s essential to amplify positive emotions, sustain mental clarity, and increase physical vitality.

However, when life gets busy, the last thing we think about is managing our energy.

As if we can run on empty, we tend to compromise first getting sufficient sleep, good diet, exercise, and rest. 

It’s when it’s most necessary that we throw out the window that which we need to support us in meeting the demands.

As my mentor says, “common sense is not always common practice.”

So, here is a simple framework that can help in always keeping you focused on staying on top of your energy so that you’re showing up strong.

Complete the sentences to see how you’re currently managing your mind and body then identify and set goals for the areas that can benefit from improvement.

Mind:

  • The goals I have about mastering my mind—how I want to think, deal with stress, and create a good mindset include…
  • The daily and weekly habits and practices I need to start so that I can feel more energized by this area of my life include…

Body:

  • The goals I have about mastering my body—how I want to feel physically, how I want to move, be healthy, etc include…
  • The daily and weekly habits and practices I need to start so that I can feel more energized by this area of my life include…

The beauty of it all is that this puts you in control of feeling good about yourself, your relationships, and your work no matter what’s going on…and that’s the jumping off point to chasing your dreams with a full tank.

Accomplish Your Goals Without Burnout

Erina HaileLeave a comment

“Schedule your priorities, do not prioritize your schedule.”
-Stephen Covey

Do you believe that you can be both a go-getter and stress-free?

I’ll confess that until recent years, and mainly based on my life experiences, I thought those two things were paradoxical.

That’s not uncommon, especially for those of us who’ve had to or are still navigating the waters of hustle culture. It’s easy to lose track of what’s really important; but that comes with grave consequences.

Sooner than later, and for the sake of our own happiness in life, we’ll have to learn how to prioritize.

Enter the concept of putting in your “big rocks” first, super simple in theory but most of us struggle with the implementation.

Before I tell you about the idea behind the “big rocks”, and in case you’ve forgotten amidst all the things vying for your attention, YOU always come first. Keep than in mind as you read on…

Right, now to the story of the “big rocks” which beautifully illustrates that you get to decide what is most important to you and what gets your time and attention.

It goes something like this….

There once was a teacher who showed his students a large empty jar. He filled it to the top with big rocks and asked “students, is this jar full?”.

“Yes!” said the students.

Next, the teacher added smaller pebbles into the jar and those pebbles filled in around the rocks. He asked, “and now…is the jar full?”. 

Again, a resounding “yes!” from the students.

He then added a bag of sand into the jar. The sand filled the rest of the space around the pebbles and rocks. He said, “now, is it full?”…and they said “yes!”. 

The teacher then dumped everything out and started again with an empty jar.

This time, however, he added the sand first. As he did, the sand took up all the space in the jar that neither the big rocks nor the pebbles could fit.

The teacher said…

“Students, the jar is your life. The big rocks are the important things that make your life worth living. You must know your big rocks and put them in first. The pebbles are the next group of things that matter to you — the things you have to fit in. The sand is the small things of life, the things that will take up all the space if you put them in first, leaving you with no room for the most important things in your life.”

So, what are the “big rocks” at this point in your life?

Remember, no matter whose opinion shaped what you might believe about yourself or your needs it’s only the things YOU truly want that are the biggest rocks of them all. Prioritize going after those. 

P.s., If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all that’s in your jar right now but want to consistently prioritize your “big rocks” then book a Complimentary Discovery Session to learn how I can help you.

Wait, Is This the Biggest Self-Inflicted Problem?

Erina HaileLeave a comment

Would you believe it if I told you that from where you stand today, you can take control of shaping your future on your terms?

More specifically, do you know that you can choose to overcome the exhaustion that might be gripping you due to the overfull plate of work, caring for family, being active in your community, worrying about the incessant stream of news that keep you on the edge, etc?

Well, you can. And, the solution is simple.

But, if it’s so simple then what gives…why aren’t more people energized by their life??

Generally speaking, we can attribute it to a bit of memory loss.

You see, most of us are so out of practice it almost never occurs to us that the power to be in the driver’s seat of running our own lives hinges on mastering how to do one thing — saying “no”.

Why most of us have difficulty saying “no”

For the most part, we’ve been socialized to be “nice” and “agreeable”. The consequence of this conditioning is we tend to ignore our needs in order to fit in, for validations, etc.

This eventually leads to us running on empty and other frustrations resulting from our boundaries being stomped all over.
 
When not put in check this then manifests into dis-ease…mentally, physically, emotionally and the downward spiral begins.

From this space of survival, growth, joy, optimism become impossible.

Therefore, the inability to say “no” is at the root of our most self-inflicted problems — exhaustion and burnout.

Having this awareness is very important as it allows us to be kind to ourselves as we relearn and get in the habit of saying “no” to the things we simply don’t want.

How to say “no” like a two year old

Starting right now, simply practice saying “no”, kind of like a two year old child. Everything for them is a no until convinced otherwise, except in this case you’d be convincing yourself why something isn’t a good use of your time or energy.

And, don’t just say no. Really challenge yourself by taking it a step further and use language that effectively conveys what you’re not willing to do without having to justify it with a million reasons.

For example, change “I can’t do xyz” to “I don’t do xyz”. The latter enables you to own your power and communicates a clear line that’s not to be crossed.

This all becomes simpler when we understand that our purpose in life is to self realize…not to people please. That’s the mantra to repeat when we’re worried about how someone might respond to us saying “no”.

Now, what to do with all the time you’re going to have left once you get into the habit of doing this?

  1. Get sufficient sleep
  2. Move your most important projects forward
  3. Enjoy “me” time or spend it with those who feed your soul and replenish so you can come back strong where it matters

Get in practice of doing this and watch how even the people around you rise up to meet your boundaries. Those are the type to keep in your corner and the energy that’ll propel you to your next level.

P.s., Live #liferich!

The Most Dangerous Question

Erina HaileLeave a comment

When you first meet someone, what is the first thing they ask you…especially if you live in a society that is very work-oriented, e.g., the U.S.?

That’s right. The question that just about everyone asks is “What do you do?”.

And, that question hands down is one of the most dangerous because its implications go very deep.

Effectively, what one does becomes who they are.

But, what happens when the person no longer is those things?

Without that identity of — “I am the CEO; I am the consultant; I am the engineer, etc… at xyz company” — who are you, really?

Most people can’t really say…and that’s usually when a great deal of internal crisis arises and inevitably manifests externally.

The importance of separating our identity from our work

So that our movement forward isn’t hindered by our old identity (who we were, thought we were, others think we are), it’s important to have a constant but fluid way of defining our identities.

Rather than being caged by the identity something external to us helped us form, this new identity is one that is intrinsic to us and evolves as we go through life. 

Here is a simple idea on how to develop an identity that leads to a fulfilled life.

Start by redefining what a high performing life looks like for you…and no, it’s not about putting in 60 hour workweeks and going through the motions in the other areas of your life.

Redefining what it means to live a high performing life
<so you can have as good a life in reality as you do on paper!>

  1. Define what “health & wellbeing” means to you. Set your goals such that it reflects the things that you enjoy. The more you do the things that feel good to you around this, the more likely it’ll become a lifestyle.
  2. Define what success in your “career” means to you. How far up the ladder do you feel like you have to climb? How much money do you have to earn in order to give the rest of the important things in your life the time and attention they need?
  3. Define what deep, connected “relationships” mean to you. How much time do you need for your relationship with yourself, your partner, your family, friends, community in order for them to thrive?

Imagine what a kaleidoscopic life you’d have if you lived life on your own terms. It all starts with knowing who you truly are…and remembering that what you do is only one aspect at any given time. 

P.s., Just do you!

Do This ONE Thing That’ll Get Everything Else Working

Erina HaileLeave a comment

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who are the people you admire, those who go after their dreams, are ambitious, and make things happen?

What do you think is the real secret to their success?

For most, it’s their consistency in working on themselves which then results in them having amazingly supportive relationships with themselves.

So, when we’re struggling to achieve the successes we want in our lives, that’s a telltale sign that we still have some inner work to do.

It’s the work that we do when no one is watching that ultimately makes the difference. That’s what gives the confidence, the finesse, the competence to shine when it’s go-time.

So, if the SELF work is really what makes everything else work, e.g., in our careers, businesses, relationships, then you might be wondering what that exactly looks like.

A good place to start is by asking yourself “what do I do for personal development … what is my regimen to get my mindset right?”. For example:

Do you get coaching?

Therapy?

Read biographies of great leaders who might be long gone but inspire you?

Do you know the people who can radically change your life but whom you’ve never met, e.g., people whose books you can read, whose podcasts you can listen to, whose online courses you can take, or whose seminars you can attend?

Get this going and you’ll be on your way to becoming limitless.

Full disclosure, it’s a marathon but you’ll be well on your way. You’ll be met with a handful of internal challenges that you’ll have to overcome as you progress…and this is okay!

Whether you’re already on the journey or just getting started, here are a couple ideas to help you regularly check in with yourself that’ll help you along on the path.

Deepening the most important relationship (the one you have with yourself) to ensure consistent growth and reaching your full potential

  1. Be disturbed by staying in your comfort zone. Not much that’s exciting is happening in the world of the predictable. So, ask yourself “why am I still in this familiar place?” then challenge yourself to try new things and cultivate your courage.
  2. Welcome failing forward. Be willing to learn from your “failures”. Just the knowledge that it didn’t kill you is enough evidence to demonstrate that it’s only a matter of time until you achieve what you’re going after. Let that warrior spirit be part of your identity.

By learning more about yourself and nurturing a healthy relationship with yourself, you become empowered to make self affirming choices. And, when you move through life from that space, everything else starts to fall into place in wonderful ways.

P.s., You’ve got this!